A funny thing happens to me: Every junk food I like disappears. I'll strike upon supermarket gold, and then within months, my favored food is cruelly ripped from me. Not to sound bitter or anything. Here are the products I still pine for...
1. Jell-O Pudding Bites
There's an entire Facebook page dedicated to Jell-O Pudding Bites, with plenty of desperate pleas to bring these gummy-like yummies back. One fan claims she recreated the bites by microwaving a pudding cup mixed with non-flavored gelatin (no water) and whipped cream. But she also spelled gelatin "gelien." I'm not feeling hopeful.
2. Cookies 'n Cream Nesquik
I first came across Cookies 'n Cream Nesquik at Big Lots in the late '90s. I knew this was a bad sign—Big Lots is the retail graveyard for failed novelty foods. I snatched up a box of the powder, fell in love, then watched with horror as my best friend slurped down the rest of my mix. That was the last I ever saw of it. Here's an explanation, straight from the Nesquik Twitter feed:
3. Under Cover Bears Oatmeal
I had a serious aversion to oatmeal as a child. (I've since realized it was only because my mother made it soupy.) However, I was in love with Under Cover Bears Oatmeal, which had gummy bears coated in oatmeal dust that dissolved when you spooned 'em up. Then one day they were gone. I refused to eat oatmeal again until college. I once tried stirring gummy bears into instant oatmeal, but only ended up with a goopy, melty mess.
4. Cheetos Paws
Remember those little 25-cent chip bags? Well, Cheetos Paws came in a neon green bag, which I could spot from a mile away in the chip bin at my house. When only one bag remained, glowing like a green beacon of junk-food delight, my sister and I would literally race to the cabinet, clawing for the coveted Paws. They were that delicious. (I have a theory that shaped Cheetos taste better than traditional puffs. Same goes for character-shaped Mac & Cheese.) In 1994, Paws disappeared. As far as I can tell, they were a limited-release food, only ever intended to last a short time. Sad.
5. Doritos 3Ds
I distinctly remember Doritos 3Ds hurting my mouth—something about those sharp, puffed-up corners scratching my delicate palate. Yet, I still scarfed them at an astonishing speed. I found them for sale on Piggly Wiggly's website, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
6. Butterfinger BB's
These peanut-buttery pellets had a long and beautiful life from the 1990s until 2006. They have since been replaced (but never replicated) by Butterfinger Snackerz.
7. Oops, All Berries!
Corn-based cereals lack the sweetness I craved as a child, which meant I never jumped onto the Cap'n Crunch boat. That is, until Oops, All Berries! appeared on supermarket shelves in 1997. With only the berry-flavored cereal bits, it was exactly the sugary surge I needed. The whole "oops, factory mistake!" bit was all a marketing ploy (I was fooled)—they were released again in 2010 for only a limited time.
Haha I was just thinking about Cheeto paws the other day...I agree about the shapes making it taste better. I forgot all about Doritos 3D, but they hurt my mouth too! Loved this post!
ReplyDeleteI probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't just read this article, but it appears as if "Oops! All Berries" has made a comeback. If not, my local Publix is selling years old boxes of cereal.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if they are the same as the ones you used to love so much, but there are now Cheetos Paws in stores! I found them at my local CVS, along with the Sweetos Cheetos.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me know! I can't wait to try them!
DeleteBring back the nesquik the cookies n cream please...
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know where I can buy the cookies n cream nesquik powder...
ReplyDeleteWhere can I buy the cookies n cream nesquik... does anyone know
ReplyDelete