The 4 Worst Interior Design Trends of 2014

Two terrible trends in one kitchen: honey wood and black granite.

Every year around this time, interior designers declare which trends are the ones to watch (and that we should probably all redecorate our homes with, ASAP). This year, a few completely miss the mark—and will invariably be met with "what were you thinking?" stares come 2015. 

Not-So-Hot Trend#1: Macrame

Los Angeles designer Betsy Burnham recently told the Wall Street Journal (where everyone goes for decorating tips, obviously) that 2014 is going to be the year of macrame. "We haven't seen it since the 70s," she said. "I think it's time." I think she's wrong. And, unfortunately, she's everywhere: In another article, Burnham advised replacing accent walls with macrame art from Etsy. Sorry, but replacing one wrong with another wrong doesn't make a right.

The only macrame I've ever seen was in my muumuu-wearing great aunt's apartment, which was also decorated with shag carpeting. Macrame just might work if you're a pothead, but for those of us seeking a chic look? No way. 

Not-So-Hot Trend #2: Honey-Tone Woods

Just when I thought I'd never have to tolerate the ubiquitous oak kitchens of my childhood again, Elle Decor has predicted a resurgence of lighter, honey-colored woods. What's next—the return of the boxed-in space above kitchen cabinets? Formica countertops? 

Not-So-Hot Trend #3: Pastels

Don't get me wrong, a little pale pink can be sweet. But an entirely pastel palette? Hello, $60-a-night hotel room. When I was a kid, my sister claimed her Barbie's babies were allergic to bright colors, so she forced me to redecorate my Dream Home every time her Barbie family came over. So, yes, maybe I have a knee-jerk negative reaction to pastels. But I still can't fathom going back to the blush tones of the 1980s. Should I expect oversized florals and vertical blinds to make a comeback, too?

Not-So-Hot Trend #4: Black Kitchen Counters

Black granite or quartz countertops are going to be a hot item this year, according to the Zillow Digs Home Design Trend Report. Perfect! After we've all spent years trying to brighten up our kitchens, let's suck out all the light! I can maybe get on board with a black countertop for an island. But the whole kitchen? Spare me.