Crackerjack23: Texas real estate

Oh, almond windows, how I loathe thee.

I suppose it was bound to happen.

For weeks, I’ve been obsessively pondering every square inch of our new home (while "watching" Beauty and the Beast, I was actually mulling over my foyer flooring). But it wasn’t until this weekend that I noticed a single word, buried in the contract, that sent me reeling: almond.

I was flipping through the thick document, trying to find the dimensions of the living room windows so I could start thinking about curtains, when I spotted it. Somehow, I'd missed it before: Our windows are not white, but rather almond (or, as the builder calls it, “sandstone”). Panic quickly ensued.

Our paint color on the left, window frame on the right.
(The paint color is grayer in reality than it looks here.)

One room in our current house, the sunroom, has cream-colored window frames, and before we found out we were moving, I devoted a lot of time and mental space to figuring out how to disguise them, replace them, or paint them. Now I’m going to have not just off-white—but sand-colored—window frames in EVERY ROOM OF MY HOUSE.

The sunroom of my current house, in all its cream-colored window glory.

Our builder and designer discussed with us every other detail of the home—whether the front door, the door knobs, the flooring, the outlets—but for some reason neglected to mention the almond window frames. My builder's explanation: Everyone in Texas now uses them—they’re designed to blend with the earthy-colored exteriors—so they don’t even consider it worth discussing. That leaves me to add “non-white windows” to my list of Texas real-estate oddities, alongside (mostly) non-white ceilings and textured walls.

In the model home, the beige windows do seem to blend, even with gray walls,
so maybe I'm being overdramatic? Only time will tell!

Unfortunately, by the time I noticed, the windows had already been installed, and we’re not about to fork over thousands of dollars to change them (according to the builder, they’d just have to be trashed or donated to Habitat for Humanity). My last hope is that they can be painted; we’re waiting to find out if doing so will void the warranty. Otherwise, I’m just going to have to rely heavily on curtains, blinds, and shutters. This is where I would insert a sad face if I used emojis, although my sister has been one source of solace, offering her own home-decorating crisis as a lesson.

When she installed bamboo blinds, she fretted for weeks over the long cords dangling in front of her windows, and beat herself up for not spending a little more money for the cordless version. But eventually, she stopped noticing the cords entirely—and suspects I’ll do the same. So here’s hoping that my ugly windows eventually “disappear”—even if they can’t physically be replaced—and in the meantime, I’ll file this away as a lesson for the future: Don’t ever assume anything when building a house.

Already renovated? Yes. But this home still needs Joanna's signature touches.

Nearly a decade ago, my husband lived and worked in Waco, Texas, for four months. He uses one word to describe the tiny town: flat. And he means it in every sense of the word: flat landscape, dull nightlife, and unimpressive homes. But Chip and Joanna Gaines, the hosts of HGTV's Fixer Upper, have breathed new life into the place previously put on the map by tragedy, transforming drab (and often dangerously decrepit) homes into total showplaces.

I have a habit of perusing real estate listings in cities we have a 2% chance of living, and since my husband's company has a Waco division, the Texas town has been added to my Zillow browsing routine. My favorite game: If Frank and I were moving there, and I could wrangle the Gaines' design services, which house would I take a chance on? Here, eight potential Fixer Upper properties currently for sale in Waco:

1024 Greenwood Lane | Waco, TX

$239,000

3,295 square feet

5 bedrooms | 3 baths

Built in 1986

What caught my eye: This property is a little pricier than many of the homes on Fixer Upper—but it's actually a two-for-one deal. The main home has three bedrooms, and in the backyard, there's a second (and arguably more adorable) two-bedroom cottage. The options for the second space are endless: a guest house, a game room and pool house, or even an artists' studio and office. And the back patio on the main house? That kind of outdoor space is a huge selling point, especially in a warm-weather state like Texas.

The potential here is huge: Paint the exposed brick white or gray, smooth the ceilings, refurbish (or replace) the built-ins, and install funky light fixtures, and this large living room could be an incredible gathering space.

With plentiful cabinet space, a window behind the sink, beautiful wood floors, and an arched entryway, this room has the potential to be a killer kitchen. It's practically asking for one of Joanna's signature marble-topped islands.

This patio gives me serious yard envy! It's the perfect place for kids to play, to hold backyard parties, or just to relax outside and read a book.

Is this backyard cottage not adorable? With this property's oversized lawn (see below), Chip and Joanna could easily add a pool and turn this little building into the perfect pool house.

3708 N. 22nd St. | Waco, TX

$79,900

1,230 square feet

3 bedrooms | 1 bath

Built in 1947

What caught my eye: This Hansel-and-Gretel cottage is tiny, but packed with character: an arched entryway, oversized windows, and gorgeous wood floors. It has already been updated, but would really shine with Chip and Joanna's decorative touch.

I love the gently arched doorway leading into the living room and the fireplace flanked by large windows, which make the small space seem much bigger.

It's quirky details like these corner windows that could really showcase Joanna's abilities. (I'm clueless as to what she'd do here, but I know it'd be amazing!)

9078 W. Lake Creek Road | Waco, TX

$192,500

2,500 square feet

3 bedrooms | 2 baths

Built in 1984

What caught my eye: The mature trees are an obvious selling point, as is the mother-in-law suite, complete with a second kitchen. The rooms are large, and with a few minor tear-downs, the layout could be open and airy, making it a perfect candidate for a Joanna Gaines' facelift.

Yes, this kitchen is a total gut job. But with its pass-through window (see below), the potential for an open concept layout is obvious.

Look past the popcorn ceiling and wall mirrors, and you've got a living space with high ceilings, a beam just begging to be upgraded, and lots of light.

Imagine: white-washed walls, swooshing ceiling fans, and reclaimed wood floors. This could easily become my favorite place in the house.

With just under 18 acres, this place is a horse farm waiting to happen.

319 Crescent Road | Waco, TX

$229,000

2,552 square feet

4 bedrooms | 2 baths

Built in 1982

What caught my eye: Although this house was built in the '80s, it has all the appeal of a Craftsman bungalow, with quaint architectural detail, a huge tree out front, and a floor-to-ceiling fireplace.

Painted white, and with a statement mantel, this fireplace could become a gorgeous focal point for the room. The updates are entirely cosmetic: install new light fixtures, rip out the dated tile flooring, and do away with the popcorn ceilings.

Galley-style kitchens tend to feel tight, and this one is no exception. But wood flooring would make the room feel larger, while ceiling-height cabinets would capitalize on the wasted space above the current cabinets. The final touch? An attention-grabbing light fixture, turning the boring breakfast nook into a cozy spot for a cup of coffee.

This giant bathroom feels out of place, but you wouldn't catch me complaining! This place deserves the spa treatment: a freestanding clawfoot tub, a stall shower, and cool colors.

This solarium-like space is well-suited to an herb garden, one of Joanna's go-to solutions for sunrooms.

3104 Mitchell Ave. | Waco, TX

$149,000

2,315 square feet

3 bedrooms | 3 baths

Built in 1950

What caught my eye: The outdoor space is what sold me: huge trees, brick sidewalk, and a secret garden-style backyard. But even the inside has its appeal, if you can look past the 1950s-era wallpaper. The kitchen has tons of cabinet space, the fireplace has a beautiful, traditional-style mantle, and there are windows everywhere.

It looks like someone has been smoking in here for the last half-century, but the bones of the room are solid, with a surplus of windows, crown molding, and lots of square footage. The fireplace just needs a fresh coat of paint and a new tile surround, and the carpet could easily be replaced with wood flooring.

I'm not sure if this is a sunroom or a dining room, but I love the bay window. Even the beadboard walls could stay put if you applied a fresh coat of paint.

Welcome to the Mad Men-era 'burbs! The kitschy wallpaper dates the space, but this maze of a kitchen has no shortage of storage, a rarity in a 1950s home.

Seriously, does this kitchen ever end??

This bathroom could easily accommodate a double sink...you'd just need to knock out the urinal.

The yard looks straight out of Disney's Animal Kingdom. Bust up some of that concrete, and you'd have an incredible outdoor room.

1016 N. 30th St. | Waco, TX

$69,900

914 square feet

2 bedrooms | 1 bath

Built in 1940

What caught my eye: Talk about tiny house living! At just under 1,000 square feet, there's denying this place is small, but with its 1940s details—gleaming wood floors, arched doorways, and solid wood doors—there's no shortage of character. I would love to see the exterior painted gray, with white trim and bright yellow door. Oh, and some grass would be nice.

I love the dark-stained floors, which pair nicely with the cool color palette Joanna often uses.

I'm not a fan of black cabinetry or tile countertops. And...this kitchen is tiny. But if you sacrificed some space in the dining room, you could easily open up the wall, install a small island, and make these cramped quarters feel more open.

2518 Colcord Ave. | Waco, TX

$189,900

3,856 square feet

4 bedrooms | 3 baths

Built in 1914

What caught my eye: What's not to love about this early-20th century stunner? A massive porch, a Craftsman-style front door with a window surround, a gorgeous staircase with carved newel posts, French doors—this house has everything I adore in an old home. It appears to have already been renovated, but it's missing the signature Gaines style: an immaculate kitchen (and attention-grabbing backsplash), a grand chandelier, and wood floors throughout.

The spot between the windows would be perfect for a faux fireplace focal point.

I love the weathered French doors! With one of Joanna's oversized farm tables, instead of this tiny pedestal table, this could be an amazing space for entertaining.

My one complaint: I hate when homes don't have a foyer. (It feels awkward walking straight into the living room.) I'd be inclined to reconfigure the living space to allow room for a foyer, perhaps stealing a little square footage from the adjacent dining room.

This room already has many Fixer Upper-style elements: white cabinets, half-moon drawer pulls, a farmhouse sink, and interesting pendant lights. But with its cheap wooden countertops, small upper cabinets, lack of a backsplash, and an island that's too tiny for the space (not to mention bright red), it unfortunately misses the mark.

The staircase is stunning, but the juxtaposition of the ceiling fan and pendant light is odd.

And last, but not least, a house that requires a total Chip-and-Joanna overhaul...

518 N. 11th St. | Waco, TX

Foreclosure estimate: $170,593

4,096 square feet

4 bedrooms, 3 baths

Built in 1915

What caught my eye: My favorite episodes of Fixer Upper are the ones where Chip and Joanna take a house that's ready for the wrecking ball and bring it back to its former glory. This is one of those houses. Based on my high-tech Google street view investigation, the whole neighborhood, which is part of Waco's historic district, seems to be in distress. But perhaps Fixer Upper could start the gentrification process!