8 NEW Treats for Dessert Fiends

Crest Mint Chocolate Toothpaste

I'm a Crest loyalist, but I have my doubts about chocolate-flavored toothpaste. If I really wanted my breath to smell like chocolate, I'd eat a piece of—get this—chocolate. Yet Crest claims the "rich, creamy cocoa flavor" is a calorie-free way to indulge, although I usually like to swallow my chocolate, not spit it in the sink. Skepticism aside, I'll probably be suckered into buying a tube, just to say I tried it. Or maybe I'll go for one of the other slightly more palatable-sounding flavors: Vanilla Mint Spark and Lime Spearmint Zest.

Cookie Dough Oreos

Who, you might ask, buys all of the bizarre flavors of Oreos that have come out over the last few years? Me, that's who. I'm a sucker for novelty products, and in this case, I'm legit excited, because two of my favorite flavors are colliding. These limited-time Oreos hit shelves February 3rd. I'll be the first in line.

Marshmallow Crispy Oreos

If you can get past the stupid name—no doubt, a way to avoid the inevitable trademark trouble of using the term "Rice Krispies"—these Oreos sound just as promising as the cookie dough ones, as long as the marshmallow flavor is authentic, and not some artificial-tasting knock-off (like cheesecake ice cream, which is always a disappointment). These yummies also debut on February 3rd.

Starbucks Tiramisu Latte

Now that I have an Italian last name, I'm obligated to include the new Starbucks Tiramisu Latte, even though I actually hate the dessert. (Just don't tell my in-laws.) I also hate coffee, so I won't be trying this creation, which consists of espresso, mascarpone flavor, and cocoa espresso powder. Unfortunately for tiramisu fans, it's only being debuted in two cities this winter: St. Louis and Jacksonville, since, you know, those Floridians are the ones who really need a hot drink. 

Hershey's Spreads

My mom recently tried Nutella for the first time (a little late on that one, right?), and she loved it. Lucky for her, the food world has finally caught onto the whole hazelnut/chocolate trend, too: Hershey just released a Nutella knock-off, as well as plain chocolate and chocolate/almond spreads. I've yet to try them, but will probably buy a jar the next time I go to the supermarket hungry. 

Hershey's Chocolate Bar 3-D Printer

Don't get too excited, because I'm a little premature on this one: Hershey has partnered with a 3-D printing company to allow people to create custom chocolate bars. No word on when it's going to debut, or how much it'll cost. I foresee the world's first $100 candy bar. 

Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups

My mourning period for Butterfinger B&B's may officially be over. I'm a Reese's Cup fiend, and I feel confident the crunchy, Butterfinger texture will add an extra layer of intrigue to the classic candy. Expect to see a commercial for this new Nestle creation during the Super Bowl!

Dunkin' Donuts Heart-Shaped Cookie Dough Donut

I felt my heart skip a bit when I read the name of this Valentine's Day donut, but then I read the kind-of-disappointing description: The "cookie dough" is really just buttercream filling, with chocolate icing and chocolate chips on top. (Dunkin' claims the vanilla flavor is "similar" to cookie dough.) That doesn't sound like cookie dough to me. Alas, I'm still willing to take my chances.

7 Supermarket Foods I Loved and Lost

 A funny thing happens to me: Every junk food I like disappears. I'll strike upon supermarket gold, and then within months, my favored food is cruelly ripped from me. Not to sound bitter or anything. Here are the products I still pine for...

1. Jell-O Pudding Bites

       There's an entire Facebook page dedicated to Jell-O Pudding Bites, with plenty of desperate pleas to bring these gummy-like yummies back. One fan claims she recreated the bites by microwaving a pudding cup mixed with non-flavored gelatin (no water) and whipped cream. But she also spelled gelatin "gelien." I'm not feeling hopeful.

2. Cookies 'n Cream Nesquik

       I first came across Cookies 'n Cream Nesquik at Big Lots in the late '90s. I knew this was a bad sign—Big Lots is the retail graveyard for failed novelty foods. I snatched up a box of the powder, fell in love, then watched with horror as my best friend slurped down the rest of my mix. That was the last I ever saw of it. Here's an explanation, straight from the Nesquik Twitter feed:

3. Under Cover Bears Oatmeal

 

     I had a serious aversion to oatmeal as a child. (I've since realized it was only because my mother made it soupy.) However, I was in love with Under Cover Bears Oatmeal, which had gummy bears coated in oatmeal dust that dissolved when you spooned 'em up. Then one day they were gone. I refused to eat oatmeal again until college. I once tried stirring gummy bears into instant oatmeal, but only ended up with a goopy, melty mess.

4. Cheetos Paws

 

      Remember those little 25-cent chip bags? Well, Cheetos Paws came in a neon green bag, which I could spot from a mile away in the chip bin at my house. When only one bag remained, glowing like a green beacon of junk-food delight, my sister and I would literally race to the cabinet, clawing for the coveted Paws. They were that delicious. (I have a theory that shaped Cheetos taste better than traditional puffs. Same goes for character-shaped Mac & Cheese.) In 1994, Paws disappeared. As far as I can tell, they were a limited-release food, only ever intended to last a short time. Sad.

5. Doritos 3Ds

       I distinctly remember Doritos 3Ds hurting my mouth—something about those sharp, puffed-up corners scratching my delicate palate. Yet, I still scarfed them at an astonishing speed. I found them for sale on Piggly Wiggly's website, but I'm not getting my hopes up. 

6. Butterfinger BB's 

       These peanut-buttery pellets had a long and beautiful life from the 1990s until 2006. They have since been replaced (but never replicated) by Butterfinger Snackerz.   

 

7. Oops, All Berries!

       Corn-based cereals lack the sweetness I craved as a child, which meant I never jumped onto the Cap'n Crunch boat. That is, until Oops, All Berries! appeared on supermarket shelves in 1997. With only the berry-flavored cereal bits, it was exactly the sugary surge I needed. The whole "oops, factory mistake!" bit was all a marketing ploy (I was fooled)—they were released again in 2010 for only a limited time.