How to Make a State-Shaped "Vintage" Sign

I've been working on decorating my breakfast nook, and after I (well, Frank) installed an antique schoolhouse light, I felt the space needed another vintage element. The large blank wall was practically begging for a vintage sign, except for one problem: The authentic ones are crazy-expensive.

I wasn't willing to spend a few hundred bucks on a sign for my kitchen. Plus, I wanted something personal: a sign advertising a spot in my hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee, or in my current town, Westminster, Maryland. I couldn't find anything that fit the bill.

So I decided to make a sign of my own.

Again, I didn't want to spend much money, so I decided to poke around underneath the porch of my 100-year-old house, hoping I'd find the perfect piece of wood. I found a long board that was angled at the ends, in a shape reminiscent of Tennessee. This was all the inspiration I needed.

I used a pencil to freehand the outline of Tennessee on the board, then had Frank cut it out with a jigsaw (specifically, a variable speed orbital jigsaw). While cutting it, he discovered my "antique" board was actually some sort of dense plastic, probably from the construction of our deck. So much for salvage wood! But it still worked!

Now: What to paint on my sign? 

Down the road from where I grew up was a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant called the Court Cafe. I decided to paint the name of the place on my sign, along with the word "Knoxville" and a picture of a pie.

The inspiration for my sign. The Court Cafe closed several years ago, but it now lives on in my kitchen!

I have a cabinet full of wall paint samples, so in keeping with my low budget, I decided to make do with these. 

But first, I had to find a font. I chose "DIN Condensed," for its vintage look. (If you want to make sure your font is truly from the era of your "vintage" sign, check out this database.) I started by painting the board a light gray (I used "Notre Dame" by Valspar).

Laying out my letters.

Then I printed the letters out on several sheets of paper, and instead of spending money on carbon paper, simply scribbled on the backside of the paper with a dark drawing pencil. I placed the paper on top of the board, used the same pencil to trace the outline of the letters, and voila, the lead on the back transferred to the board.

I used a small brush (size 6) to fill in the letters with white paint, then after they dried, used a gold Sharpie oil-based paint pen to outline them.

The painting begins!

I printed out a drawing of a pie, and as I did with the letters, scribbled on the back and traced the outline of the pie to transfer it to the board. I used more leftover paint from my basement (navy blue for the filling, beige for the crust, dark beige for shadowing on the crust, and light blue for the pan). I outlined the whole thing with the gold paint pen, then used a white paint pen to draw accents on the pan.

Finally, I used 40-grit sandpaper to rough up the whole thing, even my carefully painted letters and pie. Frank bought some D-ring hooks (the only part of the project that cost us anything), then hung it up, giving my breakfast nook the perfect vintage touch! 

Inside Magnolia Bakery: An Interview with the Chief Baking Officer

(Source: static.dailycandy.com)

I've been on a Magnolia Bakery spree lately. First, my lovely interns brought me two Magnolia cupcakes to console me after my angelic kitty passed away. I particularly enjoyed the Red Velvet Cupcake, which you can find the recipe for here. 

More, please.

Then, on a trip to NYC last weekend, I swung by the West Village location of Magnolia, and indulged in the famous Blueberry Jamboree, a twist on blueberry pie, featuring a fluffy cream-cheese filling and outrageously thick, crispy crust. (Find the recipe here.)

Unfortunately, it was 10:30 p.m. when I made my purchase, so the lighting was poor. I was also too eager to dig into my dessert to bother with a photo shoot. So my photo is hid-e-ous.

My slice of Blueberry Jamboree

A shot from the pros (Source: delish.com)

I'm not really in the mood to bake, thanks to all of my recent gluttony. So instead, I give you an interview with Bobbie Lloyd, chief baking officer and president of Magnolia Bakery. I chatted with her back in November, when she gave me the bakery's AMAZING recipe for Apple Crumb, which I covered on Guy Gourmet for Men's Health.

Laura: I like the apple crumb because it's easier than pie. You don't have have to deal with the lattice or the top crust, which always gets a little tricky.  
Bobbie: Yeah, plus you can always go out and buy a pie shell. If anybody is scared of making pie dough, just go buy a frozen shell.

Laura: Which do you recommend?
Bobbie: The only ones I've ever bought for home are from Whole Foods. I don't remember the brand. I think Pilsbury makes a very decent one.

Laura: Do you have any tips for making pie or crumbs easier?
Bobbie: If you're going to make it beginning to end, meaning making the pie dough too, everyone seems to make the same mistake, which is not having cold enough ingredients. Our hands are warm, and in my house, my kitchen is very warm. So before I  make my pie dough, I actually put my stainless steel bowl and my flour in the refrigerator for half an hour.

Laura: What is the benefit of cold ingredients?
Bobbie: Your butter won't melt. If your butter melts, your pie won't be flaky. So your butter needs to be really cold. If you're making it by hand, which is the way I prefer to make pie dough, your hand temperature can warm up the butter too much. I always tell people, 'If your butter looks shiny, it's too warm.' As soon as it's shiny, throw it back in the refrigerator. That's the number one thing I teach people about making pie dough. The other thing with pie dough is to make it ahead of time. You can make it three of four days ahead of time and throw it in your refrigerator or your freezer.

Laura: Do you roll out in the pie pan first? Or do you just put the lump of dough in the fridge?
Bobbie: You have to chill it before you roll it out. Most recipes say for at least an hour. Really, you want to let it chill overnight. When you take it out of the fridge, let it sit for 5 or 10 minutes. You don't want your dough to be warm, but you don't want it to be so cold that you can't roll it. My mom had the coolest rolling pin when I was a kid. It was glass, and you unscrewed the ends and filled it with ice. So it had two benefits: One, it was really cold, and two, it was heavy. Buy a heavy rolling pin. Don't buy one of those little things from a department store that weighs like a pound. Get a big heavy rolling pin. Let it do the work for you. It will roll your dough out beautifully and with less work. 


Laura: There's something especially impressive about making a pie for dessert. Would you agree?
Bobbie: Oh absolutely. A really good pie takes time and effort, because there are three parts to it. But the great thing about [our apple crumb] is those three parts can be made ahead of time. A fresh apple pie, you can't really make ahead of time. You need to make it now, throw it in the oven, bake it, and then let it cool for four hours. But the apple crumb pie, you can make the filling the day before, the crumb topping three or four days before, and the pie dough a few days before. Then the night before, you can assemble everything and bake it. I live in New York. The ovens aren't big. That's why an apple crumb pie is a great thing to make the day before [an event]. 

Laura: Should you reheat the apple crumb before serving it?
Bobbie:  The crumb pie should be served slightly warm, whereas an apple pie really has to be room temperature or the apples will ooze all over the place. So, a 400-degree oven for 10 minutes. It will nicely warm up the crumb and crust it a little bit. I like to use a glass pie dish. It's way more impressive. It shows off your beautiful crust, and I think it bakes better. You can see the crust browning. If you really want to impress everyone with your hard work, put it in a glass pie dish.

Laura: The recipe calls for Golden Delicious apples. Why those?
Bobbie: Any apple that is not a crisp apple works. Something like a Granny Smith it too crisp, too tart. You want something that's not going to turn into applesauce, but will have some sweet flavor to it and will cook and soften. Granny Smiths are really not going to soften very well. There are many—Braeburns, Cortland, Honey Crisp—that work beautifully for apple pies. Anything that you bite into and it's sweet—that's the apple you want. 

Laura: Do you have any tips for preparing the apple filling?
Bobbie: An apple wedger. It's the niftiest, handiest tool in the world. You get little wedges instantly. 

Laura: What are your secrets for making the crumb?
Bobbie: Room temperature butter. Make sure it's incorporated and there are no loose crumbs. When you're done mixing it, squeeze it into clumps—1/2 inch to an inch—in your hand as you put it onto the pie. You'll get those nice crunchy, crispy little blobs that everyone wants to pick off the top of the pie. 

Laura: Any finishing touches?
Bobbie: Fresh whipped cream is always a delightful addition to any pie. Don't buy it from a can. Buy heavy whipping cream. Make sure your mixing bowl is clean and cold; otherwise your whipping cream will not whip. 

Laura: How do you make it?
Bobbie: Just in a mixer. For sweet pie, I don't even add any sugar, just a touch of vanilla. If your pie is savory, like pumpkin, throw in a little bit of sugar, maybe a teaspoon per cup of heavy cream. Just whip it until it's the consistency of whipped cream. 

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Best of the Bake Sale: Funfetti Pie!

My cat, Samson, generously donated his plate for this photo.

As a general rule, I don’t like cake. I find it unsatisfying—it lacks the density of cookies and the oozing sweetness of pie. But there’s one exception: Funfetti cake mix. I’m childishly drawn to the boxed stuff, sort of like I’m attracted to glitter or hot pink. And inexplicably so. The colorful confetti of sprinkles adds little beyond visual appeal—no flavor, no texture—yet I find myself eagerly whipping up any Funfetti-containing recipe. (Or happily blowing my diet on Truffula Chip Pancakes.) First, it was Momofuku Birthday Cake Truffles. Then it was Funfetti Chex Mix (aptly called “crack” by my coworker). Now, it’s Funfetti Pie.

I made the pie for a charity bake sale—a bit risky, but appropriate, I thought. The recipe combines the best of the bake sale: flaky piecrust, sugar cookie dough, Funfetti cake, and buttercream frosting. In other words, enough sugar to send me into a diabetic coma. In a good way, of course.

Funfetti Pie

Adapted from: Cake Spy

What you need

Pre-made flaky piecrust, thawed

Sugar cookie dough

Funfetti cake mix

1 cup water

1/3 cup vegetable oil

3 eggs

Sprinkles

Frosting

1.5 cups powdered sugar

1 c butter, softened

½ tsp vanilla extract

½ Tbsp whipping cream

Naked.

Put it all together

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Press an even layer of sugar cookie dough, about ½” thick, into the bottom of the pie crust.
3. Prepare the Funfetti cake mix according to package directions, using the water, oil, and eggs. Pour it into the pie crust, until it’s about two-thirds full. (You will have leftover cake mix.*)
4. Bake in the preheated oven for 30-35 minutes. The cake should be golden brown. Remove from oven, and let cool completely.
5. To make the frosting, use a stand mixer to blend the butter and powdered sugar. Start on low speed, then once it’s fluffy, crank it up to medium speed for 3 minutes.
6. Add the vanilla and whipping cream, continuing to mix on medium speed for 1 more minute. Spread frosting on completely cooled pie, then decorate with sprinkles.

*I suggest eating it by the spoonful, since calories don’t count while you’re baking. Or make cupcakes. Whichever.

 Sorry, iPhoto blemish remover wouldn't hide my cutting-board mess.

The results

Critic #1: "Just what I needed. It was delicious, and exactly what you'd think Funfetti pie would taste like."

Critic #2: "Just like you: different, interesting, irresistible, and not TOO sweet." 

I'm still deciding if I need therapy after comment #2.