Oreo, It's Time to Stop with the Crazy Flavors

Photo: Slate.com

I used to eagerly check Target end caps, hoping to find a new-and-exotic Oreo flavor, which I’d then buy, regardless of what it was. But I’m starting to experience flavor fatigue. For one, as much as I hate to admit it, nothing beats a classic Oreo. There’s a reason it was the first flavor invented—it’s the best.

But that doesn’t mean I’m above a well-thought-out Oreo spin-off. Problem is, I think Nabisco has stopped thinking, simply cranking out a new Oreo variety once a month, no matter how repulsive it sounds. Every time I go to the supermarket, there’s another one—most recently, there was Pumpkin Spice, Lemon, Berry, and Cookie Dough, among others. 

An Oreo flavor of Halloweens past. (Photo: PopSugar.com)

I’ll admit, I’ve tried the Lemon Oreos, and they’re delicious. But Pumpkin Spice? That’s just jumping on the ever-popular pumpkin bandwagon—and I question whether the Oreo execs actually asked, “Will a pumpkin-flavored Oreo really taste good?” I kind of doubt that it does.  

In my experience, many of the funkier flavors just taste, well, funky. The Birthday Cake Oreos were a terrible letdown. The Cookie Dough ones kind of taste like chemicals. A couple years back, I resorted to pulverizing my Gingerbread Oreos to make a cake ball of sorts, eager to just get them out of my cabinet. I didn’t even dare try the Watermelon or Fruit Punch Oreos.

Photo: HuffingtonPost.com

My research tells me there have been at least 24 odd Oreo attempts, not including the various Golden Oreo and Chocolate Oreo varieties. Here, in alphabetical order: Banana Split, Berry, Berry Burst Ice Cream, Birthday Cake, Blizzard, Candy Cane, Candy Corn, Caramel Apple, Cookie Dough, Cool Mint, Creamsicle, Fruit Punch, Fudge Sundae, Gingerbread, Lemon, Limeade, Marshmallow Crispy, Mint, Neopolitan, Peanut Butter Cup, Pumpkin Spice, Sherbet (or "Shure, Bert!"), Strawberries n' Creme, and Watermelon.

This overload of options, many quite disgusting sounding, has made me unwilling to buy any new Oreo flavor, because the novelty has worn off. So, please, Nabisco, save your fire for truly original—and yummy—flavors. S'mores, perhaps?